Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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