3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
