Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
are you so shy because you have an std?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
