I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
