Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
That's when you crack a 10am beer
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
