maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
