BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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