I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
