Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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