Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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