My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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