last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
