How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
