why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
