Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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