if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
