why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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