just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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