My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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