We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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