What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
