Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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