We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
