Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
