He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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