Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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