what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
