Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
