Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
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