I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just found puke in my bra..
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
