they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
