the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
