There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
My pussy is not your playground.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
