I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
