none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
