Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
