There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
