His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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