wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
