Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
