Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
