Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You took a bar mat shot.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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