Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
