White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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