I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
