I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
