there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
