I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
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