The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Actions speak louder than pants.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
