Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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