New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
